Dear Employees ... Beef Wellington ...

Well well well ... what have I been doing? Hmm ... when I'm not working or sleeping, that's right I'm watching some TV.

Tonight, however, I only have one program recording, so I won't be blathering on about the boob-tube much. So You Think You Can Dance is on. I'll likely be pretty locquacious about it tomorrow though, so be prepared.

I don't have much news for today, I have about 199 blog posts to read. Also, I had a Safety class yesterday and started on my new desk (normal sched) today and I finally have an actual weekend -- meaning 2 straight days off in a row -- to look forward to. I don't know how I'm supposed to act about this.

I've been holding off on this funny, because it's so long and my posts have been pretty lengthy as of late ... but here it is for today:

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Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5

TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

Number 8

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number 10

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12

TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

ஜ~§Quote of the Day§~ஜ

Blessed is he who has found his work; let him ask no other blessedness.
Thomas Carlyle

ஜ~§The Question Of The Day§~ஜ

What do you think is the worst job?

ஜ~§The Word Of The Day§~ஜ

Dissimulate

PRONUNCIATION:
(di-SIM-yuh-layt)

MEANING:
verb tr., intr.: To disguise one's intentions, thoughts, motives, etc. by pretense.

ETYMOLOGY:
From Latin dis- (apart, away) + simulare (to simulate), from similis (like). Ultimately from the Indo-European root sem- (one) that is also the source of simultaneous, assemble, simple, Sanskrit sandhi (union), Russian samovar (a metal urn), and Greek hamadryad (a wood nymph).

USAGE:
"Charles Clarke added: 'We need to talk straight to people, engaging the concerns and questions that they have, rather than appearing to evade and dissimulate.'"

ஜ~§Recipe of the Day§~ஜ

Beef Wellington Recipe

Ingredients:
1 lb beef tenderloin fillet
Salt and pepper
Canola, grapeseed, or olive oil
1 lb mushrooms (we used half cremini, half shiitake)
4 thin slices ham (Parma ham if you can get it) or prosciutto
2 Tbsp yellow mustard (we used Coleman's Original English Mustard)
7 ounces puff pastry (needs 3 hours to defrost in refrigerator if using frozen)
2 egg yolks, beaten

Preparation:
Preheat oven to 400°F.

2 Heat a tablespoon or two of oil in a large pan on high heat. Season the fillet generously with salt and pepper. Sear the fillet in the pan on all sides until well browned (hint: do not move the fillet until it has had a chance to brown). Remove the fillet from the pan and let cool. Once cooled, brush the fillet on all sides with mustard.

3 Chop the mushrooms put them into a food processor and purée. Heat a large sauté pan on medium high heat. Scrape the mushroom purée into the pan and let cook down, allowing the mushrooms to release their moisture. When the moisture released by the mushrooms has boiled away, set aside the mushrooms to cool.

4 Roll out a large piece of plastic wrap. Lay out the slices of ham on the plastic wrap so that they overlap. Spread the mushroom mixture over the ham. Place the beef fillet in the middle, roll the mushroom and ham over the fillet, using the plastic wrap so that you do this tightly. Wrap up the beef fillet into a tight barrel shape, twisting the ends of the plastic wrap to secure. Refrigerate for 20 minutes.

5 On a lightly floured surface, roll out the puff pastry sheet to a size that will wrap around the beef fillet. Unwrap the fillet from the plastic wrap and place in the middle of the pastry dough. Brush the edges of the pastry with the beaten eggs. Fold the pastry around the fillet, cutting off any excess at the ends (pastry that is more than 2 layers thick will not cook all the way, try to limit the overlap). Place on a small plate, seam side down, and brush beaten egg yolks all over the top. Chill for 5-10 minutes.

6 Place the pastry-wrapped fillet on a baking pan. Brush the exposed surface again with beaten eggs. Score the top of the pastry with a sharp knife, not going all the way through the pastry. Sprinkle the top with coarse salt. Bake for 30-35 minutes. The pastry should be nicely golden when done. Remove from oven and let rest for 10 minutes before slicing. Slice in 1-inch thick slices.

Serves 4.

Brightest Blessings,
~Surry~