Oil Changes for Women and Men

Well here's a new post. Jeez ... I feel like I haven't done anything in weeks or more. I've been particularly bizzy at work. Also, because I'm a huge dork, I've been playing a new game called Evony. It's sort of like building Camelot. I'm still getting the hang of it! WEEHAW!

I culled out my reader, and I have about 120 blog posts to go through and comment on. If you don't see a comment from me, it's not because I don't luv ya or don't read ya, it's because I just don't have anything in my brain to say!!!

Summer TV is moving along nicely ... Tonight is The Closer and Raising the Bar. Last night was a wonderful episode of Army Wives. On Sunday nights I also watch Merlin ... which I think is a wonderful getaway. Such hijinx those kids are getting into! (Oh and the actor that played Lancelot? He was super duper fine looking, yummy)

I have no more news, my 4th of July was pretty tame, hung out with my mom, watched some TV ... cleaned and organized the crap outta my apartment. I finally feel like I'm getting things OUT OUT OUT of there!

On with the show.

Oil Change instructions for Women
1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change..
2. Drink a cup of coffee
3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent:
Oil Change: $29.00
Coffee: $ 1.00
Total: $30.00

Oil Change instructions for Men:
1.Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.
2. Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3. Open a beer and drink it..
4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine..
8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench..
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12. Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13. Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16. Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties.. Drink a beer..
17. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil in filter seal surface.
18. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19. Remember drain plug from step 11.
20. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21. Drink beer.
22. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
23. Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24.. Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame..
25. Begin cussing fit.
26. Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27. Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
28. Beer.
29. Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30. Beer.
31. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
32. Beer.
33. Lower car from jack stands.
34. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.
35. Beer.
36. Test drive car.
37. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38. Car gets impounded.
39. Call loving wife, make bail.
40. 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts: $ 50.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee: $ 75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $ 20.00
Total: $4145.00

But you know the job was done right!

ஜ~§Quote of the Day§~ஜ

The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it always to be kept alive.
- Thomas Jefferson

ஜ~§The Question Of The Day§~ஜ

Why is it when you get from here to there, you're still here and not there?

ஜ~§Thought for the Day§~ஜ

Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. -Reinhold Niebuhr

ஜ~§The Word Of The Day§~ஜ

Defenestrate

PRONUNCIATION:
(dee-FEN-uh-strayt)

MEANING:
verb tr.: To throw someone or something out of a window.

ETYMOLOGY:
From Latin de- (out of) + fenestra (window).

NOTES:
There have been many defenestrations over the course of history, but the most famous, and the one that inspired the word defenestration, was the Defenestration of Prague on May 23, 1618 . Two imperial regents and their secretary were thrown out of a window of the Prague Castle in a fight over religion. The men landed on a dung heap and survived. The Defenestration of Prague was a prelude to the Thirty Years' War.
See a Lego sculpture of the Defenestration of Prague. Also, check out the defenestration of various articles of furniture in this unique San Francisco sculpture.

USAGE:
"When someone in a Joe Lansdale novel is defenestrated, you feel like shaking the glass shards out of your lap."

ஜ~§Recipe of the Day§~ஜ

Lemon Cheesecake Squares with Fresh Berries

Ingredients:
Crust:
9 whole graham crackers
5 tablespoons butter

Filling:
1 8-ounce package cream cheese, room temperature
1/3 cup sugar
1 large egg
3 tablespoons sour cream
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
2 teaspoons finely grated lemon peel
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Fresh berries

Preparation:
For crust:
Preheat oven to 350°F. Fold 16-inch long piece of foil to 8x16-inch strip; place in 8x8x2-inch metal baking pan, leaving overhang on 2 sides. Repeat with another sheet of foil in opposite direction, lining pan completely. Butter foil.

Place graham crackers in heavy-duty plastic bag. Using rolling pin or mallet, crush crackers finely. Melt butter in medium skillet over low heat. Remove from heat; add crumbs and toss to coat. Press crumbs evenly onto bottom of prepared pan. Bake crust until deep golden, about 12 minutes. Cool crust while preparing filling.

For filling:
Using electric mixer, beat cream cheese and sugar in large bowl until smooth. Beat in egg and sour cream, then lemon juice, lemon peel, and vanilla. Spread batter over crust.

Bake cheesecake until slightly puffed and set in center, about 30 minutes; cool completely in pan on rack. Chill cheesecake until cold, at least 2 hours. DO AHEAD: Can be made 1 day ahead. Cover; keep chilled.

Using foil overhang as aid, lift cheesecake from pan. Cut into 16 squares; arrange on platter. Top each square with berries. Chill until ready to serve, up to 3 hours. Serve chilled.

Brightest Blessings,
~Surry~